The Best Ingredient

I am feeling chirpy tonight rather than banal to mention that I just came from a good 6 hours of teaching. Being happy requires a lot of meticulously selected ingredients grown with love, passion and tenderness over time-or maybe not.

As I crack up my first can of dark beer of the night, I could feel the joy in my heart as that bitter taste flourishes my taste buds sending awesome sensation to my athirst pharynx. How content can a content person be? It's indescribable and that's how I am feeling today. Nope, beer does not make me content, it's just one of many flavors icings of that huge chocolate cake I tirelessly made effort to bring the best of who I am.

I am always thankful to God of whomever I have become. I will always be thankful of having the most fulfilling profession I am in to touch people's lives and make difference in this world knowing that my students loves me and remembers how fun it was during our last meeting. We always try to recreate but the most recent turns out to be always better than the prior. It is always a fine sight to see them rolling on the floor hilariously laughing teary eyed. It will always be nice to hear them not noticing the time and wanting to stay in my classroom and study more. How awesome is that? The stars were aligned for me to take this path out of many walks of life.

Certainly, being content of what you have is the best ever element to make your life ridiculously awesome. You might not have everything but self acceptance and self satisfaction can go a very long way. If you haven't you probably have to ask yourself why and look for it within you.


Life may not be perfect nor us as a  person but we sure can make things around nearly perfect. We all have different perceptions about perfection. We could argue and debate about it endlessly but in the end it only requires all the ingredients expounded in paragraph one.

Would you mind exchanging recipes? What do you think is the best ingredient of a contented life?

Yellow: Warm and radiant

Each color represents a lot of things. I thought of taking and grouping pictures of the same color every now and then. So here's my first one. I hope you enjoy.

 

 

Photos

Taking pictures is one of my hobbies. I spend a lot of time messing around with pictures to get the right balance according to my liking. In this page you'll get see all time spent with my camera. You can also visit my page on flicker for more. I hope you'll like them.

An open letter to my mother Nida Balaca Adto on Mother's Day

Mothers, without you, there would be no life and death. The light of every home and the homemaker. Mothers the origin of life, relinquished their body figure and their mini dresses to carry life and conceive for faithful 9 months. The women who endured so much pain of labor and birthing children taking all the pain more than any one could bear.

Nanay, my siblings and I are so lucky of having you as our mother who woke up every time you heard cries, you, who had all the strength to keep yourself awake all night and attend to chores during the day. You were the caregiver whom changed plenty of 'lampins' to wash after wards, whom wholeheartedly breastfeed us, made 'lugaws'; patiently and diligently prepared ours instant milk day through the night. You cared for us so we could face this entangled world potently and healthily.

You're the educator who taught us our first steps, our first words, ABCs, ABAKADAs and so on, so forth. You taught us empathy and to share selflessly. You disciplined us to have a good attitude, practice proper etiquette and to love most of all. You taught us to be righteous till now we're  grateful of. You are the best teacher we've ever had and you did it by showing us good examples.

You are the angel who lovingly whispered us on how to recite "Angel ko nga Magbarantay" and all the prayers we know until now. You taught us to submit everything to God, to ask for forgiveness and be God fearing individuals.

You are the laborer who painstakingly worked hard to never have miss a meal each day. Who gathered your children in every single supper and pointed out who did good and who have been bad. The landlord who gave us ultimatums and gave us every chance we deserve to be estimable.

You are a team builder who trained us how to split up chores. To evenly give everyone an specific task to do accordingly. The trainer who made us realize that a home can only be harmonized by working as a team whom every member has a designated job to complete well.

You are the mediator and the judge whenever your children fight. Who evenly punished us by whips of bamboo sticks and coconut leaves broom on our behind.  A person who had pinch our ears and thighs whenever we commit mistakes, remembered every one of them and never condone our bad behavior.  You are the disciplinarian who taught us to abide by your rules and every where has rules to obey.

You are the rescuer who were there when we cry. Who gets angry at the same time because we were hurt. The psychologist who lifted us up when we thought we've failed, to cheered us up and encouraged to do more and believe that everything is possible. You trained us how to be strong and be brave. To learn how to fight without backing out and cry for help. To act, do and deal with things as maturely as we could. To think hundred times before we speak and speak wittily with honor and dignity.

You are the mother who only wanted the best of us. To be educated and intellectual. To live the life and enjoy things you weren't able to have. To travel the world and be the best that we can be. A good listener of every dream we have in mind. A friend who dreamed with us and wished us the best life has to offer.

A mother who was eager to do things for our family. Who wants to do our laundry and iron our school uniforms. Who excitedly cooks us breakfast till dinner in our adulthood pampering us with her love tasting food as if we're still little.

The great sculpture who molded us with unconditional love and affection to become good  individuals and respectful citizens in the society, to make a lot of friends rather than enemies and become great parents one day.

A mother who is trustful and kind. A person who taught and gave us advice to find a good partner in life. A mother who only wanted our marriage to be as blissful as hers and encourage us to conceive many kids like hers.

A mother who's there despite of distant miles. A mother who trusts what we do and guides us even afar. A person who is happy and proud to whom her children have become and humbly thank us of what good we have done.

Nanay you are the person behind our hope that everything is going to be okay. You are the most challenging and the most intelligent person we've ever known.You are the inspiration behind every dream of the future. You are Tatay's and your children's queen. You are righteously adored and honored that you, our Nanay and Tatay and God alone, we will bend our knees on.

You symbolizes love and affection, respect and honor, vigor and perseverance, courage and determination, knowledge and justice and many more. You might be imperfect as a person but to our eyes, you are near perfection. The reason of everything whom I and my 8 other siblings have become. Our pride, whom undoubtedly we could die for and the reason why we, your children are in this world for.

We love you so much Nanay.
Riza,Dencio, Marvs, Basyon, Auring, Andres, Dom, George and Putot

Here Comes Work Day

Here comes the end of my 7 day vacay. This means back to the real world of work :-D I love what I do but it certainly nice to just hang around in my PJs and relax while chatting to my siblings and friends.

So here's my low down of my loong week holiday. I started off with just messing around facebook. I didn't know I would spend so much time on it the rest of my long rest day. I went to my supervisor's baby shower party which was amazing. I got to taste a real Kenyan and Tanzanian food and most of all I got to meet new friends. The world is too small, I was surprised to see one of my acquintance whom I went to a job training with in Nagoya three years ago. Turned out that her and my supervisor went to the same University. I also meet the most happy and friendly boy in the world.  It was pretty amazing and I enjoyed a lot.

I head down to Tokyo to meet my husband at the Cinco the Mayo festival. It was pretty late when I arrive but Oh well, I managed to show up. The night went nicely. A taxi from Yoyogi park  to Kita is a pretty long ride and expensive. I wish we thought about taking the train, not only it'll take few minutes but also resonably priced.

I spend the whole night waiting for the ice hockey playoffs match of  the Montreal Canadiens and Boston Bruins. I waited and waited till 1:30am just to find out that it won't start till 2:30. Totally messed with the time. But anyways, I ended up snoring. I turned my alarm on but my head was sleepy I could barely open my eyes. Early in the morning I found out that my team lost at 8 remaining minutes. I was mad.

After a lot of discussions and critiquing, we headed down to the a Filipino store where we had the taste of San Mig light and enjoy other Filipino goodies all afternoon. Outside we drank to our content under the spring sun rays. It was good all in all. We headed back to Chiba that night to our relaxing almost furnished apartment near Tokyo bay.

Lovely, lovely. I spent most of the time talking, chatting and cooking Filipino food I recently bought from Tokyo. I spent a lot of time immaturely bicker about nonsense gossip about me on Facebook. Opppss. The winner...... has to be determined, yet.

Over all, it was a pretty good week. I got to excersie my brain power and drain my brain comprehending people. I look at it in a good way. I don't get to deal with people like that everydayso I took a chance. Haha

I am writing this in the cozy atmosphere of my kitchen with a cup of coffee next to me still in pajamas because I don't work until 6PM for 4 hours compensated for 8 long hours of work. I love my life.

Journal

We go through a lot of different things each day. They are way too many and we tend to forget things that aren't really meaningful to us. We are so occupied to spend a glimpse of those dusty notebook and pilot pen on our shelves to jot down things after a good and wearisome day of work.

I am not saying that you should have been too but I've been writing journal since I was 9. Sure we have different hobbies and interests. I wrote stuff that was interesting and some were probably so boring. I remember writing about my crazy schoolyard fights because I was scared to tell my parents, I'd be done if I did. I was silly and wild so were everyone else. My childhood was fun, very fun that I can only remember how I laugh to the ground teary-eyed. I had the best of my classmates and best friends which to this date I miss a lot. I was surrounded with my parents and siblings love although I didn't thought so, has been a huge part of my life. There were so much to write about and I did it occasionally. I'd love to read through them so much but too bad I wouldn't because they were blown and torn away by countless typhoon hits in the island. Papers may be gone but those lovely memories are in the deep and safe part of my heart to reminisce.

I went to a college away from home. In search of a higher education and new adventures. It was fun but hard at the same time. I've learned a lot and I suddenly became an adult. It was a life changing experience. To adjust from a total different neighborhood was incredibly overwhelming but then again I was surrounded with down to earth people despite of their social standards. I was blessed having my sister beside me where we both held each other towards the end.

I was so busy but I didn't stop writing. I wrote and wrote until my only best friend and confidante got taken away from me. It was and still is horrible to even think how could someone do such wrong and unlawful things. It was a total invasion of privacy, an invasion of solitude to be exact. Good thing was, it did not abstain me from writing more. Mind you, my communication skills was so poor, had I stopped, this blog would be right now way down the dungeon. I may not even had the courage to try this.

For sometime I sort of forgot what have happened before but these days, there have been some constant reminder how bad it was, that at my young age I was taken advantage by elderly who were supposedly there to support and guide. That made me think I should not back off and just zip my mouth in the corner. I realize that I am still very distressful about it. Saying that they'll make it public and will be used against me will not budge me at all because you know why? I was only 17 who wrote straight from the heart and observation. I didn't know that my personal opinion would be of so much interest with others. I must have been so popular then and even now. This recent fuss about my diary stolen ten years ago is being so much of a tele-novela that bores me. I still don't know if they know anything about the law. It's maddening yet pitiful.

These days writing on a paper is a little bit obsolete. Just a little bit. It still does make sense. Till now, I write my journal on a paper. It's always nice to feel my fingers practice cursive writing. I remember how my classmates and I back in Elementary and High School would compare to see who has the best hand writing. I think we always thought that our own handwriting was the best. I always loved how my best friend wrote her surname starting with letter G. All of my three best friends have letter Gs on their names except for me. I never told them so that there was something about that letter. Now, my surname starts with G. Oh no, I'm being that school girl again, I admit. How I love my childhood and teenage life back in the island and I could talk about it forever.

For some, I reckon that my life is interesting to tag me around. Not in a good way though. Ouch. Though I can't do anything about their actions, I certainly could do something about it. We have the liberty to do and say whatever we want but it comes with a huge responsibility. These past few days' drama made me think about writing my journal online. I guess it would be better to be read by everyone rather than just appear on a page of paper. I know that somehow, someday, someone will relate with my stories and may dub them offensive but hey, to reiterate, we have the right to express ourselves as long as we don't scathe someone. Just let me know directly, I'd humbly apologize and acknowledge if I ever find and understood any mistake.

Lost Amidst Crowd

Have you ever been lost around vast and busy crowd? Have you ever been so helpless when you have your dead mobile on the way to an important meeting? Have you ever felt lost in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever been lost deep in your thoughts? I guess most of the answers would be a sound 'yes'. And if your answer is yes, is it physically or mentally? I guess both.

I've recently felt kind of eureka moment realizing being lost physically has a lot of similarities between being mentally lost if not the same if we put it into a different perspective. In our daily lives there lots of manifestations that what we think is what we become physically. Sometimes I'm so messy but sometimes I am so organized. I'm messy when my mind is busy while I'm organized when my brain is uncluttered. Analyzing some past situations, I could attest that 99% of my mood reflects to what my actions are. Gladly, I'm always in a happy mood and I don't ovulate whole year round. Boy, it would be a disaster if women were. Oh wait, perhaps what I'm trying to say is the science of mood? Am I lost again? Ah human is too difficult to understand. Science is too interesting not to be fond of but I am not. :-(

I wonder of who I really am, of whom I became. I know who I am, my identity and all that comes yet I don't know all of myself because I can't see my own. We are judged by our actions which our minds reflection. Perhaps we'll know who we are by the reactions people around who have different perceptions of who you are. We constantly need and seek assurance of being dainty and we try hard but trying hard sometimes goes terribly wrong. We sometimes lie just to be liked. But don't worry, lying is a human nature.:-D

Have you lose your mind yet? I have. If you have not, then here's another one. When we lose our minds we ask for God and we seek for a telephone related stuff when we are physically lost. Good luck if you got lost at Tokyo station. Don't even try. So which one is better? None. But, telephoning God would be a lot easier than just talking with no verbal response but we patiently wait. We phone our friends but we slap them in the face once we are found saying, 'have you lose your mind'? haha Now, maybe you'll change your mind, which one is better, losing your thoughts or being lost somewhere else?

Thy Child

Honor thy riches, detest thy knowledge.
Spread the shame it knows no edge.
Indoctrinate your seed with your Judas mouth,
Thy end bad seed will sprout.

Rightly discipline your own,
So your trees may grow and bloom.
Plant your seed with love not hate,
Thou may enjoy them to the fullest.

Thou check your tank once in a while,
So the bullets to you not strike.
An ill bullet shot to kill
Will bounce back not your will.

Lovely Memories

Memories are part of our past, the reason why we have present and future. No one is identical to each other so does our memories-pleasant or not. I personally had some bad ones but most of them are good. Those are the ones that keeps me going each and every day, paints smiles on my face and even laugh by myself. Those are the ones that keeps our conversation lively going wherever we go with whoever we rub shoulders with. The good ones we constantly miss and try to recreate.

Everyday we meet people not knowing if or when we're ever going to see them again or will that be the last. We bid each other farewells leaving memories behind. We find questioning ourselves, will they ever remember us some time? Will they think the same way like you do? No one knows. So we move on with our lives.

Here I sit in my living room curled up in a comfort of my electric blanket. It's spring time and I can only look forward to summer time. How I dislike winter, I don't even want to recall anything to do with it. Life in the temperate zone seems to fly very fast because of it's seasons. While in the tropics you have the endless sun and rain. I just miss it. I miss the comfort of my own home in the company of my dearest family and friends.

Family and friends are the number one part of our lives. They are our inspiration, strength and the rocks to lean on bounded by mutual respect love and affection. The battalion who will come at your defense when you need some protection. The light when every light around you are out. If I could be someone in the after life I would choose to be just this way again born in such a terrific circle of family and friends and make more wonderful memories worth sharing in every way.

That sudden pang of déjà vu moment makes me realize that I have traveled a long way. That I have been everywhere still I thirst for more. I am craving for something unspeakable, to travel the world as far as I can and realize who I want to be. I desire to boost myself, my loved ones and the needy to make my life worthwhile, create blissful memories and be remembered how I lived.

Looking Through the Bright Side

Life, surrounded fully with adversities- big or little. Human beings are programmed to take on and overcome all of them. Often times we remember just as horrific as they are without peering what lays behind to scrutinize and agnize that things are meant to happen regardless how variable situations are. Some are really obvious and aren't rocket science yet people complicates things, blinded by what they perceive life should be that they only see a mono color side. 

Somehow we tend to be oblivious that these things molds our individuality so we may be able to succeed from the next and more unforeseen obstacles ahead. We should be optimistic and thankful that we're able to experience such things only human of countless creatures on earth could get to experience yet of-course we hate why things fall on our exhausted shoulders.

Suffice to say that the more time you spend rationalizing ideas and opinions the more you are opinionated and open-minded while the more you make people a creamer on your coffee table, you are most likely to be the one who is narrow-minded. People need not be well-educated to be gracious however, proper education, discipline and guidance goes a long way which some people are unfortunate to have them. Very sad. 

It's so easy to detest and spread hatred around yet some people find it so incredibly hard to let go, be righteous and steer away clearly so they won't bump disastrously into someone who will soon be their match and learn the hard way. It is so easy to belittle others unaware it's actually should be the other way around (funny enough)- pretentious and trying hard because people have already got to taste their venomous mouth. 

Everyone deserves a chance to show the innate good in them but some evil aren't bendable anymore as it has been habitually practiced around with their like-feathers.

I am not a psychiatrist but analyzing people and shutting my mouth if there's nothing good to say until I come up with a better one has always been my habit and it required a handful of my parents disciplinary action to exercise it. Words are so powerful, you aren't suppose to play with it like fire. Some does like they're goddess of fire, spits them out like a dragon but I hope they remember that even the mighty sun goes down.

Thoughts

The lights are out and I'm lying alone on the soft purplish carpet in my living room. I stare at the pressed flower I recently framed barely translucent by the aid of the power saving mode of my computer screen on my side. I enjoy this kind of routine after a day of work rewarding myself a glass of red wine in a peaceful ambiance of my home.

At night before I go to sleep is when images peeks into my drowsy brain. Sometimes I just want to go on with it but sleep fairy takes me out of it to a fantasy land of dreams. Probably the combination of mild alcohol and bed time yoga poses before beauty rest helps a lot to relax and condition my being for another day.

Often times, I try to write about things hanging in my consciousness but somehow they just vanish into nowhere and I start fiddling with something like spinning my pen. It's frustrating to have mental block every time. Sometimes I'd be in the mood feeling I could just go on writing forever but I end up giving up defeated because they're just too many to write. When I was in school, I'd make it do and not bother at all. Now, I find myself in disgust about my poor self determination.

My mind is overflowing with what ifs but I could only accept and build from what's in the past and address one thing at a time. Human minds are so beautiful it amazes me by its capabilities. I always thought what if I was someone genius, wealthy or powerful then my life would be entirely different. But then I'm not and I accept myself.

Everyday I live by my own perception. I do not take orders from anyone as to how to spend my hours. I work and have fun at the same time. I have a group of friends to look forward on meeting each month. I have family to love and Skype with anytime. Some days are like whirlwind or have ran over by a freight train, some days are calm or maybe described as the worst day of our lives. Here and there like bees, up and down like Dow. But all of  this is what life feels more like a life.

Grayish White Skies

Today is another day so as tomorrow and the next. Same routine everyday would kill me. I'm glad having this ideal job I like the most, mostly because of a lot of free times which I'm being paid of. See, I get to enjoy sleeping in and wondering about Hawking's theory of the Universe all afternoon. But not really. I engage in different things everyday I even wonder why. That, the blame should be upon Carlito plus Nida. But I like myself, who doesn't? So you may disregard the latter.

I woke up with a lovey-dove goodbye kiss my digital clock said 7:15. OMG. My alarm's at 1pm, are you kidding me? My eyes are barely open and my brain is still way far from being awake. Seconds later I hear the front door close and lock. Damn, I want to change it so badly for slamming the hell out of my pointer turning its nail into black. Now, I save a little bit of my black nail polish. I find my self back into my cozy cloud and wakes up couple of hours later. I slid my black curtains to the side to let the light in and check the weather out. Better than asking Siri. Oh my, how come when I plan on doing something outside, the weather just doesn't go along? How annoying isn't it? I stare outside for minutes and hours with a coffee mug in my hand and a cellphone on the other to check what's new online. I hate this kind of weather but then this weather I must admit, gives me a lot of inspirations to write and think about-about mine or my Mom's long lists of 'utangs' in the island. Peace Nanay, I love you. Speaking of  'utang', here's one of my favorite jokes: "'Wag mo ako titigan na para kang mangungutang dahil wala akong pera." I don't exactly remember whose punch line is this but this is really a hilarious one-at least for me. What do you really want, Auring? Make up your cloudy mind. A lot I say. LOL. I want a sack of rice and a lot of dried fish. Period. Or maybe comma for more goodies if must insist.

I could really die for a life in the island right now. How I miss the sunshine and my precious happy family of all. Throughout my journey, a second away from my loved ones is difficult. But, I know those days away from them are mere distance and that we're close together bounded by love. This gives so much hope and strength to make it out here, with the love of my life and make every bit of it worthwhile. This grayish white skies after all makes me realize how important sunshine is and that I will always see it and savor the joy it brings perhaps not today but soon.