Thoughts

The lights are out and I'm lying alone on the soft purplish carpet in my living room. I stare at the pressed flower I recently framed barely translucent by the aid of the power saving mode of my computer screen on my side. I enjoy this kind of routine after a day of work rewarding myself a glass of red wine in a peaceful ambiance of my home.

At night before I go to sleep is when images peeks into my drowsy brain. Sometimes I just want to go on with it but sleep fairy takes me out of it to a fantasy land of dreams. Probably the combination of mild alcohol and bed time yoga poses before beauty rest helps a lot to relax and condition my being for another day.

Often times, I try to write about things hanging in my consciousness but somehow they just vanish into nowhere and I start fiddling with something like spinning my pen. It's frustrating to have mental block every time. Sometimes I'd be in the mood feeling I could just go on writing forever but I end up giving up defeated because they're just too many to write. When I was in school, I'd make it do and not bother at all. Now, I find myself in disgust about my poor self determination.

My mind is overflowing with what ifs but I could only accept and build from what's in the past and address one thing at a time. Human minds are so beautiful it amazes me by its capabilities. I always thought what if I was someone genius, wealthy or powerful then my life would be entirely different. But then I'm not and I accept myself.

Everyday I live by my own perception. I do not take orders from anyone as to how to spend my hours. I work and have fun at the same time. I have a group of friends to look forward on meeting each month. I have family to love and Skype with anytime. Some days are like whirlwind or have ran over by a freight train, some days are calm or maybe described as the worst day of our lives. Here and there like bees, up and down like Dow. But all of  this is what life feels more like a life.