Journal

We go through a lot of different things each day. They are way too many and we tend to forget things that aren't really meaningful to us. We are so occupied to spend a glimpse of those dusty notebook and pilot pen on our shelves to jot down things after a good and wearisome day of work.

I am not saying that you should have been too but I've been writing journal since I was 9. Sure we have different hobbies and interests. I wrote stuff that was interesting and some were probably so boring. I remember writing about my crazy schoolyard fights because I was scared to tell my parents, I'd be done if I did. I was silly and wild so were everyone else. My childhood was fun, very fun that I can only remember how I laugh to the ground teary-eyed. I had the best of my classmates and best friends which to this date I miss a lot. I was surrounded with my parents and siblings love although I didn't thought so, has been a huge part of my life. There were so much to write about and I did it occasionally. I'd love to read through them so much but too bad I wouldn't because they were blown and torn away by countless typhoon hits in the island. Papers may be gone but those lovely memories are in the deep and safe part of my heart to reminisce.

I went to a college away from home. In search of a higher education and new adventures. It was fun but hard at the same time. I've learned a lot and I suddenly became an adult. It was a life changing experience. To adjust from a total different neighborhood was incredibly overwhelming but then again I was surrounded with down to earth people despite of their social standards. I was blessed having my sister beside me where we both held each other towards the end.

I was so busy but I didn't stop writing. I wrote and wrote until my only best friend and confidante got taken away from me. It was and still is horrible to even think how could someone do such wrong and unlawful things. It was a total invasion of privacy, an invasion of solitude to be exact. Good thing was, it did not abstain me from writing more. Mind you, my communication skills was so poor, had I stopped, this blog would be right now way down the dungeon. I may not even had the courage to try this.

For sometime I sort of forgot what have happened before but these days, there have been some constant reminder how bad it was, that at my young age I was taken advantage by elderly who were supposedly there to support and guide. That made me think I should not back off and just zip my mouth in the corner. I realize that I am still very distressful about it. Saying that they'll make it public and will be used against me will not budge me at all because you know why? I was only 17 who wrote straight from the heart and observation. I didn't know that my personal opinion would be of so much interest with others. I must have been so popular then and even now. This recent fuss about my diary stolen ten years ago is being so much of a tele-novela that bores me. I still don't know if they know anything about the law. It's maddening yet pitiful.

These days writing on a paper is a little bit obsolete. Just a little bit. It still does make sense. Till now, I write my journal on a paper. It's always nice to feel my fingers practice cursive writing. I remember how my classmates and I back in Elementary and High School would compare to see who has the best hand writing. I think we always thought that our own handwriting was the best. I always loved how my best friend wrote her surname starting with letter G. All of my three best friends have letter Gs on their names except for me. I never told them so that there was something about that letter. Now, my surname starts with G. Oh no, I'm being that school girl again, I admit. How I love my childhood and teenage life back in the island and I could talk about it forever.

For some, I reckon that my life is interesting to tag me around. Not in a good way though. Ouch. Though I can't do anything about their actions, I certainly could do something about it. We have the liberty to do and say whatever we want but it comes with a huge responsibility. These past few days' drama made me think about writing my journal online. I guess it would be better to be read by everyone rather than just appear on a page of paper. I know that somehow, someday, someone will relate with my stories and may dub them offensive but hey, to reiterate, we have the right to express ourselves as long as we don't scathe someone. Just let me know directly, I'd humbly apologize and acknowledge if I ever find and understood any mistake.