Overdone

After a weeklong of feeling my nostrils blocked and sore throat, I am doomed with this irritating cough I've never had in my life. Living in a freaking throat candy to ease the cause of taking care of my self-badly.

I don't understand why it had to come on a festive weekend and right when I'm meeting friends I haven't seen in a while. What a blooper. 

Talking about my uncooperative throat, it itched the whole night making my voice so harsh and sexy. But sexy voice is not needed on all these occasions, I needed energy and well tuned voice to be able to talk and of course down few beers.

A dear friend came down miles away to pick me up. I was already intoxicated at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. How nice- yeah nice. We picked up some birthday gifts for our friends at the outlet park. Good lord my feet sore but was able to buy great sentimental stuff for our friends. It was fun.

Still my voice husky. I think I talked and acted like drunk as well. Oops, wait nobody knows me. I'd be just another lady in a rainforest dress if anyone cared. Time to rock the girls up.

We came to the restaurant reserved for us, six minutes late. Oh yeah, they were probably thinking we're not coming then when everyone arrived they thought we're group of "b" that ends with an "s" girls  for being late. Oh Japan.

Since we haven't seen each other in years- we chatted for years too. The staff  might have thought to kick us out. We started our beverages- chat more, eat more and more of the chat. My voice is killing me already. One commented on me having a British accent. Okay, I understand her. Haha

Now the night is going to end for some but not for others including me. We head to the nearest karaoke place. Wohooo! Can I hold it? I asked myself. Hell yes! And so I went with my voice coarse like unprocessed seasalt and rough as sandpaper. Goodness. I sang but no one cared. I danced everyone laughed. Hard. 

It's time to go home at 3am. I had a very good time and is well recommended to do it again but I lost my voice completely. From singing, laughing and coughing, that's where the magic lied. Uhuh.

All Sunday I was again up for another ride around the town. Played shooting game and won some prices. Yay. Couple more beers and  there, I'm down. Following day I called in sick. First ever time I called sick because of  bad cough and lost voice. Where is it?  Eh di wow. I must have overdone it. Now I'm  struggling not even being able to hear my own voice. Plenty of :-( faces but the punctuation mark really is plenty of :-) faces.

Cloudy Dreams

The sun has finally showed up after three weeks of hiding. It's been an annoying three weeks I haven't had in a long while. It poured every drop of rain there is up in the sky. All of it, seemingly none left for the upcoming months. I assume it's going to be a record breaking heat come summertime.

I gained few pounds and my students have gone mad not being able to go out in the playground. Busses and trains are becoming late on a daily basis. It's taken a toll to everyone and everything around me. It felt like sun the God is not going to ever come out and end my misery.

One Saturday hungover morning I woke feeling well, hungover--and mellow. I actually like waking without the sunlight beaming into my bedroom. I can hear the rain pitter-patter on my balcony. Nice also ugly. Anyways,  I picked my favorite brush, chose a paper and clipped onto my clipboard. I sat on the beside and here is what I came up to.

A lady that is clouded by dreams. I suppose that is me or could be you..

The Sign

It was one of the days I come home early in the afternoon. Coming home at past 6 pm has been early to me since I have taken a new job. Usually not being able to see and admire the day looking at this beautiful sunset has made me think I have not done such a thing for almost eight months.

My train home is cramped as a train in Tokyo. Long ride and crowded like canned sardines. Standing position I can barely see the outside panic of rush hour afternoon and the smoke coming out from the factories.

I was mesmerized by this beauty it took my weariness away from a long day of working. I stood in front of the station astonished and wished I had my DSLR camera to take more photos and rush to the port side to get a better view.

This beautiful sunset had me thinking that this could be negated by hours or days of bad weather or even a calamity. I am being superstitious. Knock on the wood to the latter.

With my extremely busy working schedule makes me appreciate things that I used to ignore. I guess that's what life is. You don't realize you have all these things until you don't have them. Istill haven't  lose the opportunity and I am bound to not take simple things for granted because these simple things worth more than anything I can get with huge monetary equivalent. 

She

It was one of those nights along an unfamiliar street when she decided to distribute guitars to many young students with the help of her loving husband and a friend. She saw their faces light up with glee. How could these people suddenly give out such beautiful presents. It was such a nice act.

The night has fallen, she thought she might go home but she found herself alone on the train track. There was no one else but a pile of military camouflage bags occupying huge space near the tracks. Shouldn't soldiers be carrying their things with them rather than shipping them? She did not understand.

Soon the train arrived and hopped in. On the train sitting beside her was a young girl who recognized her giving out guitars. They were so pleased and exchanged with her beautiful smiles--smiles of fondness and gratitude.

She didn't quite remember how she ended up sitting on a huge hip high tree trunk looking at the horizon. It was a magical afternoon when the light and the dark are meeting. Moment later she was surrounded by beautiful boys and girls most of them carrying buckets and vases to fetch some water from the adjacent well.

Her job was a teacher. That day the school board has decided to conduct an event that would require all the children to stay at school one night. The event was fuzzy to her and all she was about was the enjoyment of the children being at school all night. Wouldn't that be fun? She made sure all of her students' parents are notified..

During lunch time the big common room was empty. All children are suppose to be there for lunch. How can some five hundred students be left unseen any where. Something fishy was going on. There was only one teacher sitting in front of her untouched lunch and all the rest of the tables were only wet towels, chopsticks, spoon and forks all laid out meal ready. She told this teacher to right go on ahead with her lunch.

The night came when all the kids are going to stay in. Kids were so fond of her. She's lovable and has got so much energy reserved for every child. She put on quite a show.

The same day, this little girl fell off the ground and tore her pants. She had no spare clothes. The only way for her to wear presentable clothes was to cut them and make it short above the knee. In other words, a short pants. The other halves was cut into many sections around looking like a rag. She entertained everyone by acting of swallowing it to make her pregnant then pretend to vomit it up and make silly faces. It was very silly and highly noneducational but hey, she did it out of the live cameras' sight.

All the laughter was gone abruptly when the slash of the wooden sliding doors echoed and banged harshly on their jambs. It was frightening. And it was the master. Even more frightening. All of them teachers and students had their eyes wide opened when all the lights come to life and realize it's time to be serious and let the night away from home be silly and seriously fun until the night is over and it's snooze time.

Missing the Blossom

 It's the cherry blossom season now here in Japan. Cherry blossoms of different kinds are blooming making tress all white and pink. They stay only for few days and slowly fall to the ground. They're still pretty when they're on the ground but not as pretty as they're on the tree. :-D Many people misses the opportunity to enjoy the blossoms because this time of the year is rainy, even stormy. High winds certainly do not help the flowers from staying pretty. This is the reason why I get so annoyed when the rain comes. Due to my work schedule, time is gold and the weather does not help at all. I gotta make a move quickly. It's not that these flowers are going to wait for my perfect time. So there..

 Few days ago I took the courage to go to the closest park. I didn't know what I'm going to see but was delighted seeing the tress still looking great despite of all the rain and wind devastation the previous day.

There was a small crowd watching these youth showcasing their dance moves mostly pop. They're apparently going to be competing in some sort of competition sometime this month. It was great to see young people devote themselves into something healthy. Good luck with them.

 You can see group of people on the their picnic mats enjoying the blossoms. They bring with them portable grills, stoves, foodstuff, games and of course the presence of their friends and loved ones. It's fun to watch them get lost with their singing and dancing while eating and drinking. It's so much fun to see people with their lovely smiles and admiration of their surroundings.

 Setting here looking at the beautiful blossoms is amazing. The sound of the river flowing endlessly is music to my ears. I couldn't get enough of the natures beauty lying before my eyes. I could just sit here forever..well--not forever maybe it's tiresome. How can people not see this and stop polluting the environment. I decided to drive to the nearest another favorite spot of mine..

This place is where a tower lie. This tower is in memory of two lovers who got separated by the ocean. The man went out to fish but never ever came back. I hope it wasn't his intention. The woman waited and waited right on the mountain they made a promise to each other. hmmm sad:-( Located on or underneath this mountain is also a museum displaying historic memorabilia dated hundreds of years ago.

 Some firewood near the shrine. I really have no idea where they use this for but I can see a lot of them around. Talk about maintaining the whole mountain. I'm pretty sure you'll get lots of this. This could be very helpful at my island right now. Malaga gud in nga sungo haha

  After roaming around the mountain, I decide to go back to the river but then my bike took me somewhere didn't know existed. In the middle of nothingness here I saw this coffee shop. It was too cozy from the outside I was not able to help myself but go in. I've been looking for a place like this. Twas comfortable inside. They have good selection on their menu from coffee down to dessert. I have to admit that their cheesecake was amazing. Take note the next coffee is free and when you order any food your coffee is only a hundred yen. How's that?

After few hours of savoring the goodies I ordered..yes few hours, a lot more that I have spent at any coffee shop, I decided to leave. Easing my way back home stopping by to see some oldies having dinner and some drinks in their tent. The day has gone without missing the blossoms and things around it. It's half past six and I thought a couple of beers from the nearby favorite pub would not hurt plus I will get to meet some of my wacky friends in the area.

Saturday Bones

Today I woke up feeling with piles of anxiousness growing out my body. It's not that I've never felt this way before but this time it's bad. God knows why. I told myself I'm going to go out of my four corners and make myself some good breakfast. Yes I did. Clap, clap. Only after the hockey game finished at 11am. which my team lost on shootout on the worst team in the league. 11 am doesn't sound like breakfast anymore but I was still making my breakfast. I checked out my fridge only to find out there's really nothing in there to make a fancy one. My man is not around so I can let that happen. After a couple of minutes there I have a full on hotdog-(not delicious), scrambled eggs and grilled tomatoes paired with black coffee. Oh wait, I thought I was gonna make myself some tea to lessen my period cramps? Oh well.

Going back to being anxious, looking at my kitchen so messy, almost empty fridge, my pet hamster running out of feed. I think I know where these crap feeling has all begun. In one second I'm gonna attend to everything today but then in once second, I feel the caffeine kicking in and there I lost it and decided to just say maniana with a snort. I will instead go see the cherry blossoms then after my eyes are feed will I do things on my free will. I have been rooting for all these flowers all year long but it was all windy last night. I'm probably be looking at some balding tree instead.

August Heat

There's no doubt summer is my favorite season of the year. I came from a tropical country so this explains a lot. How can you not love the sun? You can do almost everything except making snowman haha. Do you wanna build a snow man? Possibly, out of sand or maybe mud? haha Ahhh summer, you're so addictive, I always ache for you. There's too many things to do but too little time.

This year's August was the most exciting to me. I felt so alive after a veeeery looooong wait. Although I did things alone, it was the busiest of all summers I had here in Japan. From the first day of August I made lots of arrangement to fill up my rather loose work schedule. Sometimes I so love the company I work for. Working with pleasure or business with pleasure? What must I call it? Actually, never mind.

I spent most of my time in the beach. Yes, the beach, that's where I belong. No one can blame me. There's only July and August beaches here are good for swimming. August-along Tokyo bay and July till September-along the Pacific Ocean coastline. See, I had to make the best and the most of it. Call me greedy but time is gold. But greediness as it apply anywhere have consequences. 

As you see, I spent a lot of time in the water, unfortunately, I got stung by something while showing off my moves in the sea. haha Ouch. But, in twenty-five years of my life living surrounded and swimming in the ocean, I've never experienced being stung by some unfriendly sea creatures until this summer. They must have missed me! Man, it was painful! My leg got swollen for several days. I guess there's always a first time and not all first times are gold! Thankfully, I have that skin of a carabao lol!, it did not hinder me from going everywhere. I still swam tirelessly and had myself plenty if sunburn. I, in fact as of this writing, have them behind my back to which part my short arms couldn't reach for the sunscreen. I'm not flexible too, you know. This is when you need someone with you, to help you slather that lotion all over you and be spared from flaking like a hibernating snake. haha

 
 Mountains are so close to my heart. Being born and brought up in a nature abundant island, there shall no summer to pass by without hiking a few mountains. Being close to nature-trees, rivers, birds chirping is heaven. I could listen to them all forever. You're free to call me: jungle girl. Wished I had friends close enough to me to go with but, there were none, so nga-nga hahaha. 
 

There were festivals and shows almost every weekend. I went to many of them. They're pretty cool. People flock together in their yukatas and kimonos. There are the same food stand of barbeque of seafood and meat, takoyaki and many many more you will only find in Japan. It still amazes me how this country could love deep fried spaghetti noodles! 

I took plenty of pictures beautified by the combination of lively green trees, colorful flowers, blue and green sea, orange and blood-red sun. There are also chirpy people, laughing children, teasing teenagers, loving couples and happy pets. These are the things you'll rarely see during colder days. This is most probably the reason why people in the tropics are the happiest because there's the sun all year round. 

I feel so free walking around in a tropical outfit. You know the looks-sundress, sunglasses, handmade tote, sandals, wide brimmed hat, parasol and of course, the sunscreen smell aannd let's not forget about the sweat! Now here I am, thinking about my sweating beer or cocktail; sitting under the parasol while listening to music with my eye shut; in-front of me is a beach full of people busy with summer activities, fishing boats and ship from afar; on each side of the beach are beautiful rock formations and mountains; there I am breathing contentedly, savoring all the beauty of the August heat. 

Persistent Weed

I sit at my desk, waiting for the students to arrive. I have forty-five minutes and I'm all prepared. I just got back from a five day off work yet I am feeling exhausted. My eyes wandered at the four corners of my classroom. It's tidy and everything is in their right places. Right places. I felt a sudden pang putting me in this deafening secluded place alone questioning myself : Am I in the right place?

This question keeps on popping up. No matter how I search for answers, they're still out of grasp. What I do know is that I love my current job. But, why would I think about "my right place" if there's nothing I'm looking for deep in my heart? I know, there is always somewhere for me so does everyone else. Despite doing something meaningful each day, there's an empty space waiting to be filled within me.

I am in point of feeling stuck at one place. I feel like flying and soaring the skies but I have no wings. There are ways for us to be able to fly and soar the world. I just have to find out my own. Too many questions. I am shattered into different pieces but I am not in pain. I need to recollect my dreams and ideas to make a bigger picture of  the person I really want to be and where I want to be.

I sit here idle only with thoughts about the true purpose of my life. What do I do to shed some light in the cloudy horizon I sometimes in. I'm too occupied. I am paranoid of sorts. I over think things and I forget to give my self it needs to not fret about the future. But that's jut me- a worrier and it's my weakest point.

What if things were different. Would I be looking for something else? Am I just homesick? I don't know. Ah!!! being a human being. Too many questions we can't find answers. We just forget them but then again they come like a persistent weed.

The Show

Wriggling my way to the best spot I could occupy. Under the heat of the middle of summer time. Roads are closed, blocked by thousands of spectators coming from various nearby places. Policemen are widely scattered almost every two meters apart along this 1 kilometer main road and more in every narrow and dark streets around the area full of highly spirited people.

Along the streets are street food stands, gaming booths etc. lined up perfectly. Beers are everywhere too. There are shows in every corner, even a trained monkey, singers, carnival performers, dancers, comedians so are cameras from major TV networks. Alternating English and Japanese songs are in the background in lieu of the hosts constantly talking about advertisements.

There were too much to see had I not worry about the spot I wanted to be at. Finally I came just in time. Still not too many people. Making my long sundress as a mat, I sat on the best possible spot I could be, stretching out my wary legs from walking around and taking pictures for my personal record of day two of two day annual event. I sit under the sun and burnt some more skin from swimming for a whole straight week. It drew tan lines along my shoulders of my sleeveless dress. Sun kissed skin feels good. Life springs from unflattering cold winter days during summer.

I gazed at people slowly swarming filling in every empty spot as the sun sit. I hear some uncontrollably screaming children not far away. Finally, a parent decided to leave before the show even started out of probable embarrassment making children cry to see what they were there originally for. Quietly, people of their kimonos and yukatas are swamping while the sun is hiding out of sight in the far away horizon of Tokyo bay and Mount Fuji.

Hotels, shops and boats are all lighted up. Huge street aid lights are lighted facing away from the marina. Thousands of anxious spectators are all gathered around the dim lighted marina staring at the little island in the middle bridged by a huge bridge seemingly holding up the gorgeous sun at some point of the afternoon.

I smell mouth watering barbeque nearby as I feel the warmth of the sea breeze gently tapping on my skin. The soft wind annoyingly kept messing up my safely pinned short hair I constantly waved backwards with my pinky fingers. My hands are busy with my camera trying to take good pictures of the pleasing scene.

The dark has arrived, this huge place is packed. Astonished as I raised my hands to take some more pictures when suddenly there was a huge blast startling everyone with cheer and enjoyment. The show has begun. Blast after blasts. Scream after scream. Up in the skies are colorful, came in different sizes, animated various shapes sending relentless joy to anyone present. Flash after flashes. Gusts after gusts. People couldn't get enough. One and half hour seemed like a minute. It was so beautiful time was unnoticed. But, the show must soon come to an end. The climax was the best that made everyone die for more.

I sat there for sometime while I wait for the huge raging people to ease wading out and go about their night. I wonder and always wonder if they could make it for a longer period of time. I settled to get up few minutes later. I take more pictures of people-hurrying, relaxing, taking the night easy. Vendors are shouting of a much discounted prices of their products hoping of more profits before the night goes out. Much orderly, like school of fish heading through one direction whether to or fro while hearing the announcement of lost children or maybe parent? I do not know.

I see remnants of the event - rubbish of plastics, papers, cans, bottles and many more at some specific areas as they swirl like a tiny tornado. Not far away are dump trucks in the middle of the street where cleaners will make sure garbage are out of sigh next morning. 

I wade back home with the smile on my face hearing people chattering, laughing, drinking by the streets to their hearts content. I still hear the sound outside from the fourth floor of the building. I slid my windows aside to see more of the people also happy with the must awaited yearly show.

San Antonio - My soul's home

No matter how far you've gone, no matter how many places you've been in this world there will always be something deep in your soul that will draw you back to a place which once had been a memorable part of your life. It is an urge to retrack you to this peculiar place called home - a place where you've been brought up or perhaps just once a passer by yet it left you a huge impact of who you are.

Everyone have their own definition of the word home. A home to me is where you'll find love at your worst point; where you'll find sympathy and sense of belonging when you're feeling outcasted; a place where you'll see right when everything looks inverted and wrong; a safe oasis away from noise and peril and a place where there's bliss in every little thing. There's no place like home as they say- certainly there's none.

As of this writing, I am far away, million miles away from my lovely home but never have I forgotten how beautiful San Antonio is. From my neighbors to schools and community; to the seas, beaches and corals; to the mountains, hills, valleys and ponds. Its four nature abundant corners had been my friend who shared every bit of  my joys and sorrows and stood witness of my colorful childhood and teenage life.

I am proud of anything it doesn't have - without modern facilities to make our lives easier. This is the village I grew up without television. When I was growing up I only heard news, music and drama series on the radio. No phones and cellphones with unlimited call and text. No tablets and other gadgets to fiddle with. I played countless outdoor games under the rain and sun and in the mud (most especially ha pasakay) with my peers. Trees were my jungle gym and the forests were my ultimate playground. This is where I learned how to use harpoons and slingshot then eat my catch (without my parents knowledge of course). I played blindfold, hide and seek even at night and hop scotch under the moonlight. Aah It was so much fun!

There was no proper running water and electricity when I was young (even until now). People uses dippers to take a bath (no heater mind you) at that water pump or well in our back yard or at our neighbors. Children goes to school on foot and comes home for lunch. Back then everyone needed to be home by 6 for supper before sundown. We used kerosine and petroleum lamps so we can do homework and attend to things at night. I went to bed at 8 or 9 with the susmatanons (stories mostly scary ones) of my parents and my elder siblings. We used mosquito nets or fire up meyabi trunk to shoo away mosquitoes at night. I woke up with the cook-a doodle-dos of roasters and hens as my alarm at 5 or 6 to see my father off to go fish or farm.

Children was fed fresh and healthy each day straight from the sea and farm. Some things can be asked or bartered from neighbors and friends to cook a decent meal. Children eats what's on their plate. I mean really eat them all. No buts or go hungry. No fast food and sodas and minimal preserved foodstuff. Canned food was like a treat for us. Oh! wow! A fish or meat or vegetables in a can. How did they do that? We look forward to fiestas, Christmas, birthdays and other celebrations to get a taste of that tasty but unhealthy food - I think.

When I was young, people treated colds and other sickness with herbal medicine found around the island. We go to a quack doctor nearby to fix our broken bones and no one wore crutches and slings around. The nearest hospital is an hour away by boat though we have health center lead by our midwife and village health workers to treat minor injuries and give vaccines to the newborns. We don't have that advanced medicine to treat illnesses but children grew up healthily and strong.

We have a great Barangay Chairman and councilors to oversee the island. No policemen and military but we have barangay tanods (village peace keepers) to keep peace and order. We have priest to spread the word of God. We have our church people willingly donate sum to keep it nice and sturdy against the storm. We have our elementary and secondary schools taught by ever patient teachers who had been our second parents away from home.

 This is the home of just about three thousand people if not less. Please correct me if I'm wrong. People know each other very well. When I was in elementary I dreamed about wearing those pink and brown checkered uniform in high school. Getting into the middle of being a child and an adult wasn't easy. Childhood and adolescent period is the most crucial phase of our lives but I think everyone in the island did it with flying colors because I believe about the saying "It takes a village to raise a child" is true to this little island.

Here we're safe. We could roam around the island without fearing about cars, guns, kidnaps nor any gruesome violence you'll find somewhere else. We only feared snakes, sigbins and monsters; scorpions and other insect bites. We were cautious about falling from trees and rocks and drowning in the ocean. We learned how to swim by the age of 2 by ourselves. Our pool being pantalan, sangputan, kaluyangan and sabang. To go to munbon on the boat was our dream so as going to magasang and Carangyan. This is where we're honed to survive and be resilient in any places on earth and do fine wherever we are.

We as persons evolve so does places. My home is catching up little by little. It is bound to prosperity. More people are coming to build families, it is to be honest getting overpopulated, a little more complicated some things are becoming too. Though it had been a lot different 20 years ago (OMG I'm getting old) I have the best hope that the spirit of humanity in this beautiful island is still intact. That it is still a place worth living and spending our precious time away from the fatuity of wherever we now reside.

Fiesta is one of the greatest enjoyment the island have aside from Christmas- I think. Nothing compares to this day of thanksgiving to our beloved Patron Senior San Antonio de Padua. This is when people celebrate and come together as one. People from nearby islands, friends and family from anywhere in the world comes to celebrate with their loved ones. It's great that June 12 is a national holiday(Philippine Independence Day) so everyone could come at least for one day. This two day sometimes 3-4 day celebration has always been fun. Those flying bills when dancing kuracha in the middle of the auditorium whoahooo! is sometimes unbelievable. How about going dancing till the sun is up? OH my. My heels and legs. It is but sinfully fun.

During fiesta or Christmas time, how about going to your friends house on the other side of the village and take all of different tagays(shots) of alcohol along the way? You'll be walking zigzag half way to your destination and see double coming back home. Okay. Don't forget to bring that baby powder or you'll be sound asleep missing the fun in the comfort of your grandma's handmade banig in the corner and wake up with bunch of lipstick or charcoal marks on your face yet worse nail polish. Hold on tight because you will probably have to deal with all the embarrassment when you see your very own face in the social media with hundreds of likes and trending. ayyy..mandaw...So watch out.

It has been a while since I've been there. Thank goodness there's social media like Facebook where I can see things that I have totally been missing. I fathom how homesick I would be without these pictures, Skype or anything online to have in contact with my loved ones million miles away. How would you compare things before the Internet to now. I'd die.

This place have always been mine, my family and friends' shelter from every rain and storm. This is where I mastered things enough to be ready for every endeavor in the outside world. Not a second will I forget how free life was lied in this haven. This place will always be in my heart no matter how long I've gone; no matter how far I've gone; matter how many places I've been. Tingiao will always be my soul's home.

Whirlwind week

I finally have myself back together. I thought I have been working insanely this week. So here's the lowdown. I had this hideously long meeting in the middle of the week. After that so called 'drink' with friends after the meeting it  became plural and not only one more. We got carried away with this drinking game that nobody cared about because everyone want to get drunk anyway. I think it is only effective if everyone didn't want to get drunk therefore you can see the competition and excitement. I can't wait to try this with my other group of friends or maybe with my family one day. :-D Yo, yo lady, don't teach your siblings how to love alcohol.

 Anyways, after that few drinks, (FEW I repeat) at our colleague's flat, who would have thought that we all be going to this all you can eat and drink place nearby? Ya ya. Why didn't we even do that the first time?  Certainly it was an unplanned sequence of incidence. After that long nonstop conversation with various topics that made no sense that night, we were all drunk. I couldn't exactly recall how much wine and beers and cocktails have been splattered and spilled all over this Japanese type table setting. Thank heavens we were in a private table barred with doors and some tatami curtains. Do they call them tatami curtains? I don't know. We only had socks on so goodness we had all beverages underneath wiped up by our own character socks. Ew. At this point no one cares about anything but the drinks on the table. Neither we did with food. Now this place had to close soon and our last order was taken. Abandon ship now. Ah!! I don't even remember paying for it but I guess I did.

Ah the dampness of the weather, outside was chilly and nice. Actually no one bothered about the temperature. We all went to this karaoke place.  I thought I was going to catch the last train? But I wasn't able to do so. I don't how didn't I make it. I probably have been talking a lot. That serves me right. Sometimes my talkativeness knows no bounds. And so, we went over to this Karaoke place. We were ushered by this old man to this dark, black room. Extremely dark I barely see anyone's face haha. I busied myself putting up songs from this wireless pad. This magic pad can also be used to order goodies available straight from the private room. By the mean time, people are singing, laughing with all the silly things, some are on the floor and some declared royalties with the seats as their beds. Yo, wake up it's only 1pm. The two hours have gone by so fast. Throats got scratches trying to belt those impossible notes. Now we gotta decide where to crash for the night. Of course it's going to be at our friends.

In the middle of the night we rushed out. I'm so glad no one in our group smokes because being in that box for two hours would not last me that long. Singing as we all dashed through the night towards the awaiting chaos of sleeping arrangement. By this time a futon and a pillow is enough. The weather was perfect so no air-con was needed. We all went to bed saying that new pet word of denki pot in such a really funny if not horrible way every Japanese would imagine.

It's bright outside. Of course it's morning and we are still on earth. Waking up if anyone is up for Disney land which was the first plan. They thought I was being funny. Now it's gone out the window. At that point we are expecting our friend to be on his smoking nose because we cancelled it early in the morning. We're never going the see the end of it.

Now I gotta find my way home with this excruciating headache. I promise not to drink like this again. It's fun tough so probably I'd do it again. haha. After bidding farewells to some half awake drunken pumpkins I embraced this beautiful sunny morning with unwashed and unmade face. Just like that. I haven't done this in so long and this still thrills me.

My feet walked me to the nearest McDonald. How I hate fast food now I'm here waiting for this breakfast muffins and a cup of coffee to get me through this 1 hour long trip home. I have to plan what's going to be done this day off work. First, I have to get home to take a relaxing bath and sleep. then sleep a little bit more it came down to sleeping the day away until 8 o'clock in the evening. How productive.

Of course, nothing last forever. Might ass well live the life to the extent. I just spelt as improperly. haha I'm not going to correct it by the way. It's a 5 hour work day. Sometimes work isn't nice. Hellish 1 hour made my day rain hail instead of that nice little showers that is most probably from China. Seriously, their pollution goes everywhere now just like their products ahhh don't even get me started.

I finished my week with such a horrible weather. I used to love rainy days when I was a kid, but when I became actually an adult who goes to work, I hated it. And boy does it have to go till my day off work? It gets me imprisoned in my art gallery for the whole day and it cannot be taken by me. 

Catching trains

I've been living in Japan for quite a while now. I thought by this time, I would have already  gotten used to commuting on trains and running after them as well. Does it sound like track and field? Hell yes. This catching train scenarios has always been a bummer to me.

I live in a suburb area and trains comes only once every hour towards where most of my work assignments are. I have to take the same train for two weeks (10 days) each month. It isn't so bad I suppose. Since my job starts from mid afternoon, I don't get squished by the crowd of students and office workers during rush hours.

Catching trains are the worst thing living in countryside, I think. In other big cities like Tokyo I wouldn't worry about it because trains comes every two minutes. Here, if I miss my time, I should prepare to wait for another long hour. Yes, it is so annoying and there's nothing I can do but set my alarm not one less minute or better yet, set it advance. Trains comes and leaves on time perfectly timed for anyone to change tracks or catch buses. This country is pretty crazy about punctuality. I'm very punctual myself (bold and capitalized) but boy, this place could really drive me mad. Sometimes, I miss the jeepneys back in the Philippines where I can just get on and off anywhere and anytime I want.

So, here are SOME instances about my colorful and exciting experiences of catching trains.

Just recently on the way home from a long day of meeting, I was on the train for an hour. I waited and waited itching to be finally home, sip some wine and relax and then...opps.... I caught the the door closing with just my sight. Oh man, now I missed my stop. Gladly the next stop is only 7 minutes away. Coming back was also epic because I sat in a wrong train. I guess my brain got back to its real kicking world and realize to check which track was going. I was with two other seniors but they weren't able to catch it. How could they? they're about 80 years old hence they couldn't run that fast. I felt so bad.

After a tiresome job, I ran the hell out of me thinking I'm going to make it if I hurry a little bit more just to see that the train I was suppose to be getting on just close it's goddamn doors missing it for only a minute. I screamed out loud at the station drawing everyone's attention. Typical Japanese, they looked at me impassively for a second then turned their heads away. Who knows the also missed theirs?

Yearly, train's schedule changes.They could sometimes be just a minute or two but time is time. Due to my busy working schedule, I didn't realize that some of the trains schedules I take had been modified. I still wonder why they would have times at 1:59. 59??? Why not 60? Oh well. Talk to the hand. So, hear this, I ran in an attempt to be on the train I usually take but when I got there, oh! It's gone. I was catching the train that was never going to come. How nice. Oh well, I should beat myself on this one. I should check the times more frequently.

I literally would have missed it but I put my hand before the closing door. Imagine being trapped in an elevator crying for help from the outside except for this one, you're on the outside wanting to get trapped inside. Thank goodness it opened for me or else I'd have to wait for another painful hour just to be on it for 15 minutes. My heart was racing. Blood shoot up to my brain. Endorphins calmed down. I almost ran out of oxygen as I wearily slumped myself on an empty seat in an empty car. That was very close but it was no one's fault but mine. I've been laughing so hard with my students that I didn't notice the time. Who's to blame? No one, I repeat😜 so I just laugh and wait for another catching train nightmare episode.

The Best Ingredient

I am feeling chirpy tonight rather than banal to mention that I just came from a good 6 hours of teaching. Being happy requires a lot of meticulously selected ingredients grown with love, passion and tenderness over time-or maybe not.

As I crack up my first can of dark beer of the night, I could feel the joy in my heart as that bitter taste flourishes my taste buds sending awesome sensation to my athirst pharynx. How content can a content person be? It's indescribable and that's how I am feeling today. Nope, beer does not make me content, it's just one of many flavors icings of that huge chocolate cake I tirelessly made effort to bring the best of who I am.

I am always thankful to God of whomever I have become. I will always be thankful of having the most fulfilling profession I am in to touch people's lives and make difference in this world knowing that my students loves me and remembers how fun it was during our last meeting. We always try to recreate but the most recent turns out to be always better than the prior. It is always a fine sight to see them rolling on the floor hilariously laughing teary eyed. It will always be nice to hear them not noticing the time and wanting to stay in my classroom and study more. How awesome is that? The stars were aligned for me to take this path out of many walks of life.

Certainly, being content of what you have is the best ever element to make your life ridiculously awesome. You might not have everything but self acceptance and self satisfaction can go a very long way. If you haven't you probably have to ask yourself why and look for it within you.


Life may not be perfect nor us as a  person but we sure can make things around nearly perfect. We all have different perceptions about perfection. We could argue and debate about it endlessly but in the end it only requires all the ingredients expounded in paragraph one.

Would you mind exchanging recipes? What do you think is the best ingredient of a contented life?

An open letter to my mother Nida Balaca Adto on Mother's Day

Mothers, without you, there would be no life and death. The light of every home and the homemaker. Mothers the origin of life, relinquished their body figure and their mini dresses to carry life and conceive for faithful 9 months. The women who endured so much pain of labor and birthing children taking all the pain more than any one could bear.

Nanay, my siblings and I are so lucky of having you as our mother who woke up every time you heard cries, you, who had all the strength to keep yourself awake all night and attend to chores during the day. You were the caregiver whom changed plenty of 'lampins' to wash after wards, whom wholeheartedly breastfeed us, made 'lugaws'; patiently and diligently prepared ours instant milk day through the night. You cared for us so we could face this entangled world potently and healthily.

You're the educator who taught us our first steps, our first words, ABCs, ABAKADAs and so on, so forth. You taught us empathy and to share selflessly. You disciplined us to have a good attitude, practice proper etiquette and to love most of all. You taught us to be righteous till now we're  grateful of. You are the best teacher we've ever had and you did it by showing us good examples.

You are the angel who lovingly whispered us on how to recite "Angel ko nga Magbarantay" and all the prayers we know until now. You taught us to submit everything to God, to ask for forgiveness and be God fearing individuals.

You are the laborer who painstakingly worked hard to never have miss a meal each day. Who gathered your children in every single supper and pointed out who did good and who have been bad. The landlord who gave us ultimatums and gave us every chance we deserve to be estimable.

You are a team builder who trained us how to split up chores. To evenly give everyone an specific task to do accordingly. The trainer who made us realize that a home can only be harmonized by working as a team whom every member has a designated job to complete well.

You are the mediator and the judge whenever your children fight. Who evenly punished us by whips of bamboo sticks and coconut leaves broom on our behind.  A person who had pinch our ears and thighs whenever we commit mistakes, remembered every one of them and never condone our bad behavior.  You are the disciplinarian who taught us to abide by your rules and every where has rules to obey.

You are the rescuer who were there when we cry. Who gets angry at the same time because we were hurt. The psychologist who lifted us up when we thought we've failed, to cheered us up and encouraged to do more and believe that everything is possible. You trained us how to be strong and be brave. To learn how to fight without backing out and cry for help. To act, do and deal with things as maturely as we could. To think hundred times before we speak and speak wittily with honor and dignity.

You are the mother who only wanted the best of us. To be educated and intellectual. To live the life and enjoy things you weren't able to have. To travel the world and be the best that we can be. A good listener of every dream we have in mind. A friend who dreamed with us and wished us the best life has to offer.

A mother who was eager to do things for our family. Who wants to do our laundry and iron our school uniforms. Who excitedly cooks us breakfast till dinner in our adulthood pampering us with her love tasting food as if we're still little.

The great sculpture who molded us with unconditional love and affection to become good  individuals and respectful citizens in the society, to make a lot of friends rather than enemies and become great parents one day.

A mother who is trustful and kind. A person who taught and gave us advice to find a good partner in life. A mother who only wanted our marriage to be as blissful as hers and encourage us to conceive many kids like hers.

A mother who's there despite of distant miles. A mother who trusts what we do and guides us even afar. A person who is happy and proud to whom her children have become and humbly thank us of what good we have done.

Nanay you are the person behind our hope that everything is going to be okay. You are the most challenging and the most intelligent person we've ever known.You are the inspiration behind every dream of the future. You are Tatay's and your children's queen. You are righteously adored and honored that you, our Nanay and Tatay and God alone, we will bend our knees on.

You symbolizes love and affection, respect and honor, vigor and perseverance, courage and determination, knowledge and justice and many more. You might be imperfect as a person but to our eyes, you are near perfection. The reason of everything whom I and my 8 other siblings have become. Our pride, whom undoubtedly we could die for and the reason why we, your children are in this world for.

We love you so much Nanay.
Riza,Dencio, Marvs, Basyon, Auring, Andres, Dom, George and Putot

Here Comes Work Day

Here comes the end of my 7 day vacay. This means back to the real world of work :-D I love what I do but it certainly nice to just hang around in my PJs and relax while chatting to my siblings and friends.

So here's my low down of my loong week holiday. I started off with just messing around facebook. I didn't know I would spend so much time on it the rest of my long rest day. I went to my supervisor's baby shower party which was amazing. I got to taste a real Kenyan and Tanzanian food and most of all I got to meet new friends. The world is too small, I was surprised to see one of my acquintance whom I went to a job training with in Nagoya three years ago. Turned out that her and my supervisor went to the same University. I also meet the most happy and friendly boy in the world.  It was pretty amazing and I enjoyed a lot.

I head down to Tokyo to meet my husband at the Cinco the Mayo festival. It was pretty late when I arrive but Oh well, I managed to show up. The night went nicely. A taxi from Yoyogi park  to Kita is a pretty long ride and expensive. I wish we thought about taking the train, not only it'll take few minutes but also resonably priced.

I spend the whole night waiting for the ice hockey playoffs match of  the Montreal Canadiens and Boston Bruins. I waited and waited till 1:30am just to find out that it won't start till 2:30. Totally messed with the time. But anyways, I ended up snoring. I turned my alarm on but my head was sleepy I could barely open my eyes. Early in the morning I found out that my team lost at 8 remaining minutes. I was mad.

After a lot of discussions and critiquing, we headed down to the a Filipino store where we had the taste of San Mig light and enjoy other Filipino goodies all afternoon. Outside we drank to our content under the spring sun rays. It was good all in all. We headed back to Chiba that night to our relaxing almost furnished apartment near Tokyo bay.

Lovely, lovely. I spent most of the time talking, chatting and cooking Filipino food I recently bought from Tokyo. I spent a lot of time immaturely bicker about nonsense gossip about me on Facebook. Opppss. The winner...... has to be determined, yet.

Over all, it was a pretty good week. I got to excersie my brain power and drain my brain comprehending people. I look at it in a good way. I don't get to deal with people like that everydayso I took a chance. Haha

I am writing this in the cozy atmosphere of my kitchen with a cup of coffee next to me still in pajamas because I don't work until 6PM for 4 hours compensated for 8 long hours of work. I love my life.

Journal

We go through a lot of different things each day. They are way too many and we tend to forget things that aren't really meaningful to us. We are so occupied to spend a glimpse of those dusty notebook and pilot pen on our shelves to jot down things after a good and wearisome day of work.

I am not saying that you should have been too but I've been writing journal since I was 9. Sure we have different hobbies and interests. I wrote stuff that was interesting and some were probably so boring. I remember writing about my crazy schoolyard fights because I was scared to tell my parents, I'd be done if I did. I was silly and wild so were everyone else. My childhood was fun, very fun that I can only remember how I laugh to the ground teary-eyed. I had the best of my classmates and best friends which to this date I miss a lot. I was surrounded with my parents and siblings love although I didn't thought so, has been a huge part of my life. There were so much to write about and I did it occasionally. I'd love to read through them so much but too bad I wouldn't because they were blown and torn away by countless typhoon hits in the island. Papers may be gone but those lovely memories are in the deep and safe part of my heart to reminisce.

I went to a college away from home. In search of a higher education and new adventures. It was fun but hard at the same time. I've learned a lot and I suddenly became an adult. It was a life changing experience. To adjust from a total different neighborhood was incredibly overwhelming but then again I was surrounded with down to earth people despite of their social standards. I was blessed having my sister beside me where we both held each other towards the end.

I was so busy but I didn't stop writing. I wrote and wrote until my only best friend and confidante got taken away from me. It was and still is horrible to even think how could someone do such wrong and unlawful things. It was a total invasion of privacy, an invasion of solitude to be exact. Good thing was, it did not abstain me from writing more. Mind you, my communication skills was so poor, had I stopped, this blog would be right now way down the dungeon. I may not even had the courage to try this.

For sometime I sort of forgot what have happened before but these days, there have been some constant reminder how bad it was, that at my young age I was taken advantage by elderly who were supposedly there to support and guide. That made me think I should not back off and just zip my mouth in the corner. I realize that I am still very distressful about it. Saying that they'll make it public and will be used against me will not budge me at all because you know why? I was only 17 who wrote straight from the heart and observation. I didn't know that my personal opinion would be of so much interest with others. I must have been so popular then and even now. This recent fuss about my diary stolen ten years ago is being so much of a tele-novela that bores me. I still don't know if they know anything about the law. It's maddening yet pitiful.

These days writing on a paper is a little bit obsolete. Just a little bit. It still does make sense. Till now, I write my journal on a paper. It's always nice to feel my fingers practice cursive writing. I remember how my classmates and I back in Elementary and High School would compare to see who has the best hand writing. I think we always thought that our own handwriting was the best. I always loved how my best friend wrote her surname starting with letter G. All of my three best friends have letter Gs on their names except for me. I never told them so that there was something about that letter. Now, my surname starts with G. Oh no, I'm being that school girl again, I admit. How I love my childhood and teenage life back in the island and I could talk about it forever.

For some, I reckon that my life is interesting to tag me around. Not in a good way though. Ouch. Though I can't do anything about their actions, I certainly could do something about it. We have the liberty to do and say whatever we want but it comes with a huge responsibility. These past few days' drama made me think about writing my journal online. I guess it would be better to be read by everyone rather than just appear on a page of paper. I know that somehow, someday, someone will relate with my stories and may dub them offensive but hey, to reiterate, we have the right to express ourselves as long as we don't scathe someone. Just let me know directly, I'd humbly apologize and acknowledge if I ever find and understood any mistake.

Lost Amidst Crowd

Have you ever been lost around vast and busy crowd? Have you ever been so helpless when you have your dead mobile on the way to an important meeting? Have you ever felt lost in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever been lost deep in your thoughts? I guess most of the answers would be a sound 'yes'. And if your answer is yes, is it physically or mentally? I guess both.

I've recently felt kind of eureka moment realizing being lost physically has a lot of similarities between being mentally lost if not the same if we put it into a different perspective. In our daily lives there lots of manifestations that what we think is what we become physically. Sometimes I'm so messy but sometimes I am so organized. I'm messy when my mind is busy while I'm organized when my brain is uncluttered. Analyzing some past situations, I could attest that 99% of my mood reflects to what my actions are. Gladly, I'm always in a happy mood and I don't ovulate whole year round. Boy, it would be a disaster if women were. Oh wait, perhaps what I'm trying to say is the science of mood? Am I lost again? Ah human is too difficult to understand. Science is too interesting not to be fond of but I am not. :-(

I wonder of who I really am, of whom I became. I know who I am, my identity and all that comes yet I don't know all of myself because I can't see my own. We are judged by our actions which our minds reflection. Perhaps we'll know who we are by the reactions people around who have different perceptions of who you are. We constantly need and seek assurance of being dainty and we try hard but trying hard sometimes goes terribly wrong. We sometimes lie just to be liked. But don't worry, lying is a human nature.:-D

Have you lose your mind yet? I have. If you have not, then here's another one. When we lose our minds we ask for God and we seek for a telephone related stuff when we are physically lost. Good luck if you got lost at Tokyo station. Don't even try. So which one is better? None. But, telephoning God would be a lot easier than just talking with no verbal response but we patiently wait. We phone our friends but we slap them in the face once we are found saying, 'have you lose your mind'? haha Now, maybe you'll change your mind, which one is better, losing your thoughts or being lost somewhere else?

Thy Child

Honor thy riches, detest thy knowledge.
Spread the shame it knows no edge.
Indoctrinate your seed with your Judas mouth,
Thy end bad seed will sprout.

Rightly discipline your own,
So your trees may grow and bloom.
Plant your seed with love not hate,
Thou may enjoy them to the fullest.

Thou check your tank once in a while,
So the bullets to you not strike.
An ill bullet shot to kill
Will bounce back not your will.

Lovely Memories

Memories are part of our past, the reason why we have present and future. No one is identical to each other so does our memories-pleasant or not. I personally had some bad ones but most of them are good. Those are the ones that keeps me going each and every day, paints smiles on my face and even laugh by myself. Those are the ones that keeps our conversation lively going wherever we go with whoever we rub shoulders with. The good ones we constantly miss and try to recreate.

Everyday we meet people not knowing if or when we're ever going to see them again or will that be the last. We bid each other farewells leaving memories behind. We find questioning ourselves, will they ever remember us some time? Will they think the same way like you do? No one knows. So we move on with our lives.

Here I sit in my living room curled up in a comfort of my electric blanket. It's spring time and I can only look forward to summer time. How I dislike winter, I don't even want to recall anything to do with it. Life in the temperate zone seems to fly very fast because of it's seasons. While in the tropics you have the endless sun and rain. I just miss it. I miss the comfort of my own home in the company of my dearest family and friends.

Family and friends are the number one part of our lives. They are our inspiration, strength and the rocks to lean on bounded by mutual respect love and affection. The battalion who will come at your defense when you need some protection. The light when every light around you are out. If I could be someone in the after life I would choose to be just this way again born in such a terrific circle of family and friends and make more wonderful memories worth sharing in every way.

That sudden pang of déjà vu moment makes me realize that I have traveled a long way. That I have been everywhere still I thirst for more. I am craving for something unspeakable, to travel the world as far as I can and realize who I want to be. I desire to boost myself, my loved ones and the needy to make my life worthwhile, create blissful memories and be remembered how I lived.